The publisher of the Dalkey Archive Press is looking to hire.

Good news if you always wanted to recreate The Devil Wears Prada in the workplace environment, but only had a Wal-Mart budget.

The Dalkey Archive Press recently posted an advertisement for new job hires as it transitions its European base to London. John O'Brien, the director of Dalkey Archive, is very specific what he wants in new employees. Oh, and did I mention the following is for an unpaid job?

Any of the following will be grounds for immediate dismissal during the probationary period: coming in late or leaving early without prior permission; being unavailable at night or on the weekends; failing to meet any goals; giving unsolicited advice about how to run things; taking personal phone calls during work hours; gossiping; misusing company property, including surfing the internet while at work; submission of poorly written materials; creating an atmosphere of complaint or argument; failing to respond to emails in a timely way; not showing an interest in other aspects of publishing beyond editorial; making repeated mistakes; violating company policies. DO NOT APPLY if you have a work history containing any of the above.

Sounds like a charming work environment! And unpaid, too! What other lovely tidbits do you have, Mr. O'Brien, before I sign on?

[D]o not have any other commitments (personal or professional) that will interfere with their work at the Press (family obligations, writing, involvement with other organizations, degrees to be finished, holidays to be taken, weddings to attend in Rio, etc.)…

No vacation? Never see my family? Hopefully that elderly, dying relative won't keel off any time soon. Dying is so selfish, what--with their funerals and whatnot. Take a hint, grandma!