Apple censors a book cover for being inappropriate.

Yeah, that's the cover to the left there.

SHIELD YOUR EYES, OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD, OHMYGODOHMYGODOHMYGODOGMYGOD THEY USED TIMES NEW ROMAN FOR THE FONT OF THE TITLE OF THE BOOK-----WHO DOES THAT?

No, wait, that wasn't the issue. Apparently the artistic slope of a person's bottom is what so horrifyingly offends the great censors at Apple, so they've censored the book in their iTunes store.

According to publisher Europa (who privately loves that Apple did this to a little known book):

One would assume, then, they would also consider classical nudes by Ingres, Renoir, and Botticelli, not to mention photography by Man Ray inappropriate. What about New York Book Review editions of Dud Avocado, Tyrant Banderas, or our very own The Days of Abandonment? NOPE! All are available in the iTunes bookstore.

Europa Editions also mentions that the author, being Syrian, has seen her book censored in Syria over the content of the book--not for the cover.

Just to reiterate: Syria--at the hands of a dictator, in the midst of a civil war killing untold thousands--is more progressive with artistic representations of the buttocks than Apple, number 17 on the Fortune 500 and bellwether of technological advancements in the western world.

Why stop there though? Apple can start banning other famous pieces of art that show a little ooh-la-la.

Case 1:

Photographer Man Ray loved the nude form, and possibly no other is more famous than his Ingres's Violin. Painting the f-holes of a stringed-instrument on a photograph of model Alice Prin, Man Ray's artistic interpretation shows nearly an equal amount of back/tookus as Salwa Al Neimi's book cover.

Therefore, Apple must ban this.

Case 2:

This harlot! The Venus De Milo! At least she has the decency to put on a sarong and keep her derriere private--but, but, but, but she's a double-amputee! That's obscene!

And, you know, she's beaming, too.

Therefore, Apple must go to the Louvre and ban this.

Case 3:

This is just marble hedonism run amuck.

Michelangelo's David has the cauliflower happy place, the dimpled apostrophes of his rear, the pencil eraser chest dots--it's just...OBSCENE.

Therefore, Apple must go to Florence, Italy, and ban this.


And once Apple bans all of this, as a society we'll be safe.