Didn't Hemingway look like Santa Claus? you ask.
No--not really. No.
Since 1981, the folks down at Sloppy Joe's Bar in Key West hold their annual Ernest Hemingway lookalike contest every July. It's an homage to Papa, who loved him some sun and sand and Cubans.
In case you're hazy on what Ernest looked like--Wasn't he fat and bearded with white hair and...fat? you say--here's Life Magazine's cover of Ernest from 1961 after his death:
That's the honey-kissed tanned face of a man you can imagine smoking some cigarillos and gunning down stray animals while on safari. Santa Claus doesn't look like he smokes cigarillos or guns down his reindeer fleet.
By comparison sake, here's our 2012 Hemingway lookalike champion in the middle with the gigantic neckwear:
That's no Ernest Hemingway--that's a rental mall Santa. He should be doing Coca-Cola commercials around December, acting all precocious and cutesy with small animals and children. This is a gentleman who does not smoke cigarillos. I'm calling it now.
We've fallen a good deal with these lookalikes, as the winner back in 1981, Tom Feeney, actually sort of/kind of looked like Papa:
The man has a cheap gold watch, a ciggy, and seems to be downing some scotch! He's one patronizing comment about women away from actually being Ernest Hemingway in the flesh!
And yet, today, we get jolly, fat Santa. That's just wrong.
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