Dearly departed dictator, Kim Jong-Il, was a humble man. North Korean television (state controlled propaganda or teenage love diary of Kim?--you decide!) released a list of titles they say foreign dignitaries and leaders bestowed upon the honorable and modest Kim.
According to Harper's Magazine, the various titles include:
- Supreme Commander at the Forefront of the Struggle Against Imperialism and the United States (ed.: So silky smooth off the tongue.)
- Greatest Saint Who Rules with Extensive Magnanimity
- Lode Star of the Twenty-First Century
- Best Leader Who Realized Human Wisdom
- Leader with Extraordinary Personality
- Perfect Picture of Wisdom and Boldness
- Eternal Bosom of Hot Love (ed: Also my profile handle on eHarmony.)
- Master of Literature, Arts, and Architecture
- World’s Best Ideal Leader with Versatile Talents
- Humankind’s Greatest Musical Genius
- Master of the Computer Who Surprised the World (ed: Steve Jobs and Kim Jong Il: separated at birth.)
- Man with Encyclopedic Knowledge
- Guardian Deity of the Planet
- Heaven-Sent Hero
- Power Incarnate with Endless Creativity
- Greatest Man Who Ever Lived (ed: Rivers Cuomo is going to want a cut from that title.)
- Present-day God
- World’s Greatest Writer (ed: Cormac McCarthy and Maya Angelou are going to be pisssssed.)
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