Simon & Schuster wants its employees to WIG out.

Publisher Simon & Schuster has adopted the WIG mentality for its employees: Wildly Important Goals.

WIGs were decreed by CEO Carolyn Reidy (channeling an inner Office Space moment where soon she'll be asking about those TPS reports), who has been won over by self-help gurus where the WIG idea originated.

How does a WIG apply to Simon & Schuster employees?

Every department must institute a WIG for itself. Better yet, every employee--every employee--must create a WIG for themselves, too. This isn't a stick-it-on-a-Post-It-Note-on-your-cubicle-wall type thing. Employees must enter their goal into a database to chart their WIG. If they've made progress, the database shows a green icon. No progress is emblazoned with a red circle.

But it gets really precious beyond that. As MHPBooks notes,

[I]n fact, employees still have mandatory weekly department meetings at the S&S Rockefeller Center offices to discuss “lead measures” and “lag measures” — indicators of how their performance has progressed. As part of the training for the program, participants were informed that if someone came to the meeting and reported an inability to meet a task from the previous week, he or she would be “frozen,” which means that no one could speak to that person for the duration of the meeting.

So, you're ignored. Shunned. Treated like a three year old who scribbled on the wall with magic markers because you didn't eat your Cheerios.

I know, I know--you're wondering where you can apply for a job at Simon & Schuster so you, too, can be shunned like someone with tuberculosis just because you missed a goal.

Go WIG out here.