Short story:
So heavy rains led to heavy mold in a variety of dorms at St. Mary's College of Maryland. And heavy mold led to unlivable conditions for students.
Solution option #1:
St. Mary's paid for hotels. Students inevitably start rapping, Mo--tel, ho--tel, Holiday Inn!
But hotels were far away for the remote college, and were fairly pricey.
Solution option #2:
Charter a cruise ship to dock sort-of, kind-of nearby and house students there.
That was pricey, but less pricey.
Ultimate solution:
Students stay at docked cruise ship and walk to class every day. Their laundry is done for them by ship's staff. School crafts agreement with cruise company that piano player, lounge act, and all-inclusive meals are not required.
Interesting side note #1:
Some students enjoy the laundry perk. According to Andy VanDeusen, a biology major, "It's wild. It's much more frequent than I wash my linens." In unrelated news, women have commented that Mr. VanDeusen's "man essence" smell is not nearly as attractive as he'd like you to believe.
Interesting side note #2:
Some students are pulling a Leo Dicaprio-in-Titanic role and are assigned rooms below decks, with no carpeting, no windows, and metal lockers.
I bet those future alumni checks will be huuuuge.
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