France bans ketchup in school and college cafeterias.

In an effort to show they're not down with love handles and early-onset heart attacks, France has banned ketchup in academic cafeterias, including at colleges and universities. Their reasoning is that it's packed with sugar and really not worth the potential headaches.

According to Jacques (you just knew he had to be named Jacques) Hazan, president of the Federation of School Something-or-Another in France, "We can't have children eating any old thing."

Thankfully, France still allows all kindergarteners two fifteen minute smoke breaks per day.