Books with soundtracks...

...because you need a crescendo of violins when sexy-but-practical-businesswoman Kate finally gives into the sexual tension with cocky-but-misunderstood neighbor Brad in that trashy beach read you're thumbing through. Otherwise the moment when they kiss won't feel real. You need music to guide your emotions when you read.

Thankfully, some entrepreneurial spirits came through for you. Enter the Cameron brothers, Paul and Mark, two guys who want to create a "more cinematic-type experience" for reading. They're developing a variety of noise--music, ambient sounds, special effects--to coincide with your eReader experience. In some cases, this equals nine hours worth of material per book. This is because--eh, let's face it--you're a slow reader. Nine hours is being kind.

But if they really want a "more cinematic-type experience," they need to hire some 16 year olds to play on their smartphones as a five year old kicks my seat and an elderly man with gas sits in front of me as I read. Then we're talking authentic.