Professor declares earthquake made cats depressed and suicidal.

Cats have serious emotional issues. My old cat Lil' Kitty (real name) became moderate-sized kitty once she didn't like the new apartment I moved into and found food as the only comfort that could stop the hurt. It was a dark time in the life of Lil' Kitty, one of expanding waistlines and shrinking hope. It only snowballed from there, to the point of dependency on the wacky tobacky.*

This is all to say that a professor of veterinary sciences from Century University in the Turkish city of Van claims an earthquake last year in that city has turned countless felines into desperate suicidal kitties that are one bad night of drinking away from needing to be talked down from a ledge.

"After the quake that jolted Van, a large number of cats are throwing themselves from heights," said Dr. Abuzer Tas. "They are getting fidgety by remaining in confined areas for a long time, and they are throwing themselves out in order to free themselves."

And here I thought Lil' Kitty's addiction to Fancy Feast was a concern.



*She became addicted to catnip at one point. It became so bad that she figured out a way to open the kitchen drawer hiding the bag of catnip, pull it out, and generally trip the light fantastic everyday by herself while I was at work. The saddest part is that I enabled the addiction by going to a dealer (Petco) and buying more for her. I'm the reason she became a junky!

**Do professors keep databases for feline suicides? How do you know the cat flung itself off a ledge because it was suicidal and not just an adventurous cat with bad balance? Does the cat leave a note behind? Did it have conversations with its fellow felines about how despondent it felt? How does this work? We need answers.

***Are dogs not suicidal? Do they not jump from windows? Do dogs have good health insurance that pays for quality therapy?