March Madness...the book geek variety.

March Madness is upon us, and I don't mean celebrating St. Patrick's Day in South Boston. It's college basketball's one month to show us how much illegal booster money can pay off in supremely gifted athletes  how gambling on amateur athletics is only marginally trickier than gambling on pro sports  how interesting college basketball action can be. 64-ish competing colleges trimmed down to one victorious champion.

March Madness also leads to geekier impersonators, replacing college basketball teams with books. 16 or 32 or 64 books of some identical trait winnowed down to 1 victor, voted on by panels of judges or popular opinion via the internet.

There's The Morning News Tournament of Books, which examines a large swath of newer novels my grad school career won't allow me to read until I'm 50.

There's the School Library Journal's Battle of the Kids' Books (the title rolls right off the tongue), teaching children at an early age that most everyone is a loser.

There's The Piglet, a book tournament about food books. I don't know how some book wins this tournament. I assume the book causing early-onset diabetes the quickest wins.

Then there's Book Madness, which goes the classic route: 64 famous books from history that, if we haven't read, we at least recognize from their film adaptation starring Anthony Hopkins.

I prefer Book Madness, if only because I can have a rooting interest in the head-to-head matchups.

Atlas Shrugged vs. Doctor Zhivago?
Anything that irks Ayn Rand's soul is good with me.

On the Road vs. Jane Eyre?
Charlotte Bronte gets a fan in me, if only for a day.

The Catcher in the Rye vs. The Grapes of Wrath?
If there is a God, Holden Caufield will fear Tom Joad more than impatient pimps.

Ulysses vs. Heart of Darkness?
Sometimes there are no winners.