In this case, I stumbled upon a gentleman (last name: Aschmann. first name: ?) who is a linguist by trade--and, as a hobby, has created a website devoted to the way we all speak. His hobby makes your pastime of collecting Happy Cat posters seem pretty lame/uninspired by comparison. He has a detailed map of America/Canada that has more squiggly lines of demarcation than a Jackson Pollock painting--except these lines differentiate the way areas pronounce pin/pen, caught/cot, father/bother, you get the drift.
Did you know that geographical boundaries actually work to buffer language traits? So, the Black Hills of South Dakota bend language around them, the Sierra Nevada refuse to let language climb over them, and the Ohio River stops accents at its bank. At least Aschmann says so, and I'm easily swayed by brainy talk.
And what about history's influence? The Kansas-Nebraska Act of 1854 apparently dictates how Nebraskans talk today, as the 1930's Great Depression influences modern Californians--since over a million "Okies" from the Midwest (and their accents) moved west during that time. It's like the Grapes of Wrath, except with less talk about starvation and more chit-chat about stressed syllables.
The sexiest thing on the website? That Cincinnati is called a "linguistic island." I don't know what a linguistic island specifically is, but it sounds exotic and alluring. And it's probably the only time anyone has ever made Cincinnati out to be exotic for anything.
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